30 August 2010

Impromptus at Leisure

             Consistency has always been one of my shortcomings.  I can start any new program or goal with gusto, only to be quickly stifled by my waning interest and quickly my real-life responsibilities take over.  It is the reason I am always on the lookout for new diabetic technology.  If I can have some new gizmo or gadget I will get interested in taking care of myself. For a while.  And then the apathy sets in again until I find my next new thing.   It is also why there are huge gaps in this blog.  I resolve to write consistently and do so for a while and then once again I have let months pass with nothing.  I tried around New Year's when excitement is high all around for all types of new endeavors, but that only lasted a few days.

     I convince myself that my lack of blogging is linked to the desire not to bore people or to put out anything that is less than inspired.  But I think both of these simply are a fancy cover for my lack of discipline.  Rousseau once said, "A sentiment takes possession of my soul with the rapidity of lightning, but instead of illuminating, it dazzles and confounds me; I feel all, but see nothing; I am warm, but stupid; to think I must be cool. What is astonishing, my conception is clear and penetrating, if not hurried; I can make excellent impromptus at leisure, but on the instant, could never say or do anything worth notice." Since I first read that I have time and again felt it resound in my soul.  And if that is, in fact, true, the only thing I need to produce un-boring work is to provide myself with the time and space to get "cool" and that takes discipline.

     Thus, I resolve, once a week, to give myself the leisure so that I may make those impromtus and possibly even do something worth notice.  I've heard it said that to be a writer you need to write something everyday.  I don't know if I will publicly attempt that one yet, so I will set a more realistic and achievable goal, to write and publish a post weekly.  Let's see if I can follow through.

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